What Makes a Wedding Beautiful? (Spoiler: Not What You Think)

The more uncomfortable truth is that I had absorbed an idea many of us absorb without noticing, somehow by osmosis, the way you pick up a city’s accent after living there long enough (I do remember the shock of my mum when I came back from a school holiday in Norther italy with a quite intense Venice accent, poor one)

The (false) idea is this: some projects matter more than others

Nobody says it out loud, of course
That would be too crude, too exposed, but if you’ve been in this industry long enough or even just on Instagram long enough, you know exactly what I’m talking about

The project with the bigger budget
The venue everyone recognizes
The floral installation that stops the scroll
The publication that lands
The “wow” from people whose opinion you’ve decided matters
(do you recognize a pattern?) 

Without realising it I had started measuring my value through a lens that wasn’t entirely mine

The wedding industry certainly reinforces this, social media accelerates this, magazines have been doing versions of this for decades
Long before Instagram existed, people were already comparing houses, holidays, careers, celebrations
Instagram simply made the process faster and more visible

The more interesting question is a different one.

Why are we so willing to let other people define value for us in the first place?

When I looked at those editorial photos, I wasn’t really seeing the flowers or the styling or the atmosphere we had built together with my team. I was seeing my own desire to be recognised, my own uncertainty about where Magnolia belonged
My own persistent hope that one day (I can hear the old fashioned “ok but when?”) I would finally create something that would make me feel like I did it (whatever than means)

The photos were never the problem, the definition I was using to look at them was

Years later,with so much personal and professional work on my shoulders to redefine myself, my direction, my values and who I really am, I opened the gallery again to rebrand my website and what surprised me most wasn’t the editorial itself
It was the consideration that nothing had changed in that editorial work

The photos were the same, the design was the same, the beauty was the same

But my perspective had shifted

Today I look at those images and I see a beautiful project, not because it’s luxury (what does that  even mean?)
Not because it was published, shared, saved, reposted or blessed by the invisible committee that seems to decide what is worthy in this industry

I see it as beautiful because it expresses a vision clearly and honestly and SO PROFOUNDLY MINE

The same thing happens to couples EVERY SINGLE DAY

They are surrounded by opinions, trends, inspiration boards and an endless number of definitions of what a wedding should be

Some people say luxury is the goal
Others say luxury is the problem
Some celebrate simplicity
Others celebrate extravagance

Personally, I don’t think the answer lives in any of these categories: the most beautiful weddings I’ve seen were not defined by their cost, but by how deeply they reflected the people at their centre
I don’t believe a wedding becomes more meaningful because it costs less and I don’t believe it becomes more meaningful because it costs more

The real question is much simpler and much harder at the same time:

Does it belong to you?

When a couple stops trying to create the wedding they think they should want and starts creating the wedding they genuinely want, something unlocks: decisions become easier, the experience becomes lighter and beauty appears on its own, not because someone followed the rules, but because someone finally stopped following everyone else’s.

That editorial took six years to teach me this: it’s not the work that evolves, it’s us, learning how to look at it

Project creation, planning and coordination: Magnolia Wedding Planner
PH:Gabriele Malagoli
Videographer: The Tuscans
Caterer: Martina Wedding & Catering
Macarons: Katya Macarons Toscana
Flowers: Infinito Amore
MUAH : Suely Hair & Make Up
Wedding Dress: Berta Bridal
Atelier: Le Spose di Mori
Shoes: Bella Belle Shoes
Bridal lingerie: Bohemian Soul. Lingerie
Kimono & Fabrics: Tessuti di Azita
Herbalist & Skin Care: Le Erbe di Ann
Crystals: Eterea Mineral Boutique
Alchemic guidance: Fedora Ginanni
Stationery: Gunpower & Ink
Candles: Cereria Graziani
Model agency: Antonio Becchetti